abolishing slavery...

Our God is amazing.. the master of abolishing slavery that men cannot touch.

Yesterday roomie and I walked down to the lake [we live just under two miles from a large lake in our area] for an invigorating evening walk. As we were on our way back home, and my mind fluttered from thought to thought, [ this weekend I learned the average person has 50,000 thoughts a day... we agreed I was WAY over that average ] I was reminded of a conversation I had with a friend two years ago on the subject of child rearing and discipline. I remember sharing I knew I was not going to be one to spoil my children and enable them to be the ones calling the shots and running the household, but I was fearful of spanking. [ I am NOT opening up this blog to have a debate on whether spanking is abuse, permissible, or whether or not it's consistent with standards in the Bible; I was one of those children with an abusive parent ] I knew myself and had come to see a lack of patience and tendency to quickly jump to anger... this was cause of my fear.

My anger-driven parent was a bit explosive on the physical discipline. Having seen in myself some of the same characteristics, I had even come to the point of being afraid to have children. I was afraid of what may have existed within me and I didn't want to find out by it being unleashed/manifested on anyone - especially children. It was also a little over two and a half years ago God decided it was time to break the bondage and curse of anger that ran for at least six generations in my family; I was the sixth. It was one of the hardest, ugliest, and life-changing journeys I have ever been on. Some thought I was bipolar, I said I had a monster living inside me that would come take over [you could literally see the change on my face when it reared itself], and God saw hope. He chose me and that time to break the bondage that had been so destructive for so many years through many generations.

It was during my walk last night God brought to mind that conversation on child-rearing, reminded me of the fear that was so present, and then held it up to my current  state of living - anger free. 

I have been a nanny for my girls for two years and have never once fought against any monster within, feared any type of "explosion," or questioned my child-rearing. 10-11 hours a day, five days a week, two years... totally free. In fact, I often receive compliments from others observing the interaction and relationship the girls and I have with each other and am sought after for advice and methods of child-rearing and discipline!

I once was a slave in the crazy bondage and sin of anger which caused me to fear having my own children [among other things]. I now live a blessed life of freedom, joy, and patience with the greatest job on the planet - getting to be a mom [well, kind of ;) ] This was a slavery no one else could abolish. A slavery I tried for years to fight and protest, but it was bigger than anything I could do on my own. A slavery no one other than God Almighty could touch or break. A slavery completely abolished to no longer be a part of this family legacy. Peace and love now rule and reign. Thank you Jesus for choosing me to carry the mantle "curse breaker," for making beauty from ashes, for redeeming my life and heart in love with children, and using me as a vessel to offer hope and light to others in bondage they were never meant to exist in.