it's so good...

...to be in love with God.

As with any relationship, the feelings and emotions of love aren't always present, but it's such a treat when they are. Last night I found myself thinking, "Lord, it's so good to be in love with you. I want You. Not for any other motive, but simply just to have and be with YOU for You. Period.

I clearly remember a 16-month period of time right after college where it felt like He had left me. I no longer felt His presence. I was no longer hearing His voice - something I had come to love and live by. "God, where are you? Where have You gone? What am I missing? What have I done wrong?" Lots of questions, no answers. No longer feeling Him or hearing Him was totally foreign to me. [I know He chooses to speak to us all in varying ways, hearing His voice and receiving pictures were the ways we communed together.] Richard Foster refers to this as "the dark night of the soul," and it certainly was. Those were very long 16 months. 

Had He abandoned me? No. Was He giving me the silent treatment for some wrong I had done? No. Because He loves me He was allowing me to grow by trusting Him at His word rather than allowing the feelings and other sweet gifts [the sound of His voice, pictures and dreams, etc.] to be a crutch in my belief of who He is and what the Bible says. He says He will never leave us or forsake us. He is a perfect gentleman, yet is very persistent and will go to great lengths to bring us to Himself. 

Gosh, I just kind of started to go off on a trail there while I was re-living back in 2003 and my 16-month "dark night of the soul." 

I really wanted to share some words of A.W. Tozer with you.

"O God, I have tasted Thy goodness, and it has both satisfied me and made me thirsty for more. I am painfully conscious of my need for further grace. I am ashamed of my lack of desire. O God, the Triune God, I want to want Thee; I long to be filled with longing; I thirst to be made more thirsty still. Show me Thy glory, I pray Thee, so that I may know Thee indeed. Begin in mercy a new work of love within me. Say to my soul, "Rise up my love, my fair one, and come away." Then give me grace to rise and follow Thee up from this misty lowland where I have wandered so long."

I'm celebrating and drinking up the extra gift of feeling I want Him right now; that I am in love with Him. I am acutely aware that our feelings are fleeting and I/we don't always feel in love with Him, or honestly, that I/we want more of Him. In those times, may we pray for a work of the Holy Spirit in our hearts and echo some of the words of those who have gone before us. And in the times when we aren't feeling His presence or hearing His voice, may we cling to the truths of His words, and the promises of who HE is. Unchanging.