During times of prayer Mia would always say the same thing, "Thank you mommy, food, eat." That was it. Every prayer time. In one of my not-so-shining nannying moments, I told Mia that she should find other things to pray about and not say the same things all the time. "Think about what you're saying," I told her. Yeah, wow. She's four. Like I said, not one of my shining moments. As a follow-up I went back to remind her how much God loves it when we talk with Him and He wants us to have grateful hearts, but there are also other things we can pray for.
Prayers are changing. After my, shall we say, "challenge," she began asking for my help during prayer time. I gladly gave her ideas and promptings for things she could pray for. Returning from last week's vacation I've seen an ever greater change. Growth. [Which is super exciting because I know they're not having prayer time or hearing it modeled before them outside of times with me - it's not a part of their family beliefs or practices.] Not only is Mia's articulation growing, but her expression in prayer, gratitude, and the scope of thankfulness and thoughtfulness is growing as well. How precious children are. What beautiful ways they manifest His beauty, love, and heart of desire. Gracious Father, may You continue to mold, shape, and protect Mia's little heart for Your glory and for the majesty of Your kingdom. May she be found before Your throne often.
Conflict- not one of my favorite passtimes. It's inevitable, this I know, but the ways in which it can be approached and walked out vary greatly. As I've previously mentioned, anger used to rule and reign in my life. Conflict was a normal part of my every day. Some days it was part of my every hour. Yikes, I know. When I now talk of my anger journey and all God did, there's a part of me that envisions what I imagine an "AA" meeting to be like. "Hi, I'm Janelle. I was in slavery to anger, but have been sober/free for two years, five months."
Anyway, I found myself in the midst of a conflict this morning and suddenly God gave me a little side-hug, and with a big toothy grin and smiling eyes, said, "Janelle, look at the peace and calmness throughout your being. Do you see how you are resting in Me? With the chaos and intensity swarming around you and the lack of love in which "this other person" is acting, you are sitting peaceful, patient, and calm with Me." WHOA, WHOA, WHOA! Ok, I stand in full confidence of God's abolishing my slavery over two years ago and I've never questioned or doubted the complete work that was done, but God pointing this out to me was huge. I haven't had many "intense" times of conflict in the last two years, but I clearly remember my life before being set free.
In the past I would be consumed by the conflict at hand. My mind would whirl at rapid speeds thus being unavailable to give any attention to anything or anyone else. I would become frantic in trying to resolve and solve everything. I would cling to anything in the relationship/conversation I could and then try to run forward with all my might. What a mess! A very unhealthy, untrusting mess.
Fortunately God loves us too much to leave us where we're at and so loves to rescue us from bondage we were never meant to exist in. I absolutely love how fun, playful, loving, gentle, and encouraging God is with me. "Janelle, look... look where you're at. Look at how you are handling this. Look at your attitude, your thoughts, the state of your heart, and how you are still calm at my feet. You are still singing to and seeking Me. In the past you couldn't be found at my feet let alone in my temple - you were too busy running around in insanity." No more being consumed and controlled. No more franticness. No more running like a chicken without a head. Peace, love, and trust are the new authorities and reigning rulers in my life. I praise you Lord, Most High, for you are good. You continue to walk me into greater life and freedom found only in You.
"I am chosen, I am free. I am living for eternity. Free now forever. You picked me up, turned me around. You set my feet on solid ground; Yours now forever.And nothing's going hold me back, nothing's going to hold me back, nothing's going to hold me back.My chains fell off, my heart was freed. I'm alive to live for you, I'm alive to live for you. Amazing love, how can it be - you gave everything for me. You gave everything for me. Everything.And now I'm free to live, free to give, free to be, I'm free to love you. Free to live, free to give, free to be, I'm free to love You, Lord!"~parts of "Holding Nothing Back," Jesus CultureBE MY EVERYTHING. YOU ARE EVERYTHING, JESUS.
No comments:
Post a Comment