chapters

Sometimes I reflect on the way our culture has evolved and I find myself with mixed emotions. I am thrilled and thankful at all the opportunities we are offered. Not that our current economic status reflects this too much at this time, but our society offers a variety of options. It may not be the wisest choice if you're supporting a family [unless the Lord leads] but really you can be in one source of employment for a while and switch to another some time later... as many times as you'd like. Again, not that this is the wisest option for everybody, but for a single gal who has an adventurous spirit and many different passions, I am thankful I am able to do this.

The flip side of having many different options and roads to travel, is there sometimes are just too many. Back in the day you inherit the trade of your family. If you're male you step into and walk the footsteps of your father. If you're female you marry the man your parents select for you [that's a whole other topic in itself], raise your children, and do all you can to make your house a home while supporting and encouraging your husband. Okay, so really when I really look at it, I'm more and more thankful that I live in the current day and not in the past. Although, if I were to live back then it's not like I'd know what I was missing. [Insert "Tradition. Tradition!" from "Fiddler on the Roof" here]. I'm all for the husband, children, and making a house a home; It's my parents selecting my husband for me I'm glad we're passed.

Bottom line - right now I'm just a tad overwhelmed. As I sit here nibbling on my Red Vines and listening to IHOP's [that's International House of PRAYER, not Pancakes!] Prayer Room, I'm so thankful for the adventure that is life with Christ and am reminding myself that He is sovereign. I know He has a plan and He will show me the ways to walk. I also know that He often times likes to reveal the way at the "last minute" and I need just rest in Him.

Rosemarie, one of my greatest mentors, used to tell me, "Love God, do what you want." When you are truly loving God, you walk with Him. There isn't always a right and wrong path. I'm so driven to want to do the right thing and not mess up even when I know God is not pointing down one specific path. I still look for the road signs hanging above to indicate "right" and "wrong" for the safety and security that I will not disappoint Him. I know better, yet still sometimes I allow the angst in my mind to overcome the peace that resides within.

I think letting go and fluttering from one thing to another, though it's my desire, gets harder as I grow older. There's the pressure from society that says you need to get in your career [I don't even want one!] and be in it. Period. There's the biological clock that periodically taps me on the shoulder to say hello and remind me I'm not yet betrothed - knowing very well He designed me for marriage. And there's the recognition of more and more time slipping from the amazing "thing" I'm to do to draw people deeper into His heart and share with them the path of greater life, freedom, and intimacy.

[I hear tires screeching with the slamming of breaks]

What!?!? Time "slipping"? Pressure? Are you kidding me. Is not the Lord sovereign over all things? Does He not have every single one of my days already written? Listen here oh little voice on my shoulder, who do you think you are anyway?

"O to grace how how great a debtor daily I'm constrained to be!
Let thy goodness like a fetter, bind my wandering heart to thee
Prone to wander Lord I feel it, prone to leave the God I love
Here's my heart, O take and seal it, seal it for thy courts above"

"My beloved, you do not need to make your path, for I go before you. Yes, I will engineer circumstances on your behalf. I am your husband; I will protect you, care for you, and make full provision for you. I know your need, and I am concerned for you: for your peace, for your health, for your strength. I cannot use a tired body, and you need to take time to renew your energies, both spiritual and physical. I am the God of the battle, but I am also the One who said, 'Those who wait on the Lord shall renew their strength' [Isaiah 40:31]" "Come Away My Beloved"~Frances J. Roberts

I welcome and appreciate your prayers as some chapters are closing and new ones are waiting to be walked out.